Gift-giving

Anyone who travels, even for a weekend, is expected to bring back omiyage for family, colleagues or classmates. These are typically individually wrapped sweets or snacks associated with the place visited, so they can be shared out one per person at the office. Stations and airports sell regional specialities in boxes designed precisely for this purpose.

The custom goes back to pilgrimages of the Edo period, when a whole village might contribute to one person's journey to a great shrine such as Ise, and the traveller brought back talismans and local goods to share. The sense of thanking those who covered for your absence remains at its core.

Two gift seasons structure the year. Ochūgen are sent in early to mid-summer, oseibo in December, both to people to whom one feels indebted: clients, superiors, teachers, relatives. Department stores run dedicated counters for them, and the gifts – beer, fruit, cooking oil, coffee, towels, preserved foods – are often delivered directly. Many companies have scaled the practice back, but it remains common among families and in traditional business relationships.

Other occasions include New Year (otoshidama, money given to children in special envelopes), weddings, births, funerals and moving into a new home, each with its own conventions and envelopes.

Presentation is part of the gift. Shops wrap purchases neatly on request, and formal gifts carry a noshi paper band printed with a decorative cord (mizuhiki) and a written purpose such as 御礼 (thanks) or 御中元. The knot matters: a bow that can be untied is used for events welcome to happen again, such as births, while a firmly tied knot is used for weddings and condolences, which should happen only once.

Gifts are often carried in the shop's paper bag, but the bag is only for transport. When handing over the gift in a formal setting, it is taken out and presented on its own.

Gifts are offered and accepted with both hands, usually with a slight bow. Givers traditionally play down their gift with phrases such as tsumaranai mono desu ga ("it is only a trifle"), though many people now prefer the more positive kimochi desu ("just a token of my feelings").

Recipients often do not open a gift immediately in front of the giver, to avoid any embarrassment over its value and to show that the gesture matters more than the object. If the giver invites you to open it, it is fine to do so. A thank-you on the next meeting, mentioning the gift, is appreciated.

Some choices carry unwelcome associations, mostly through wordplay or links to funerals. Visitors who make these mistakes are forgiven easily, but knowing them avoids awkward moments.

When visiting a Japanese home or meeting business partners, a modest gift from one's own country or region is ideal – food specialities, local sweets or a well-made small item. Something consumable is easier to accept than a decorative object that must be kept.

Money is given only in specific contexts, always in a special envelope and in new banknotes for celebrations. Visitors are rarely expected to give money at all, and cash handed over as a thank-you in ordinary situations can cause embarrassment.